


Liar

by Shay_Nioum



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Loceit - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Personal Growth, Romantic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Light Sides, Transformation, mentions of remus, sympathetic dark sides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-12-28 20:01:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21142376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: In the midst of a breakdown, Deceit comforts Logan. It is while doing so that Logan decides that if the others can't accept him for him... then he'll just be what Deceit is... another liar.





	1. Chapter 1

As much as he wanted to, Logan didn’t say a word as he stood among the others. He barely even heard them, their words sounding like nothing more than disconnected static coming from their mouths as his eyes looked past them not even really seeing them. A crushing weariness had settled into his bones as his eyes drifted over to Roman watching as the fanciful side spouted off something before throwing his head back in his usual boisterous laugh. Logan heard precisely none of it, he didn’t even hear how the others had responded to it aside from Patton reaching over and swatting at Roman’s side a pinched look taking up his expression as his eyes darted back over to Logan worriedly. 

So he had been talking about him then… another joke then, of course, it was another joke aimed at himself. Roman couldn’t exactly insult Virgil without getting into trouble, and neither Patton or Virgil really cared enough about him to firmly tell Roman to stop. Hell… they threw their own jokes at him, always assuming that he never knew what they meant, always assuming that they’d never get under his skin. Except it did… god did it always get under his skin, scratching and clawing at him like the fingernails of a beast tearing at him from the inside. 

Something inside of Logan quivered the longer that he looked at the others, and something horrible burned in his eyes forcing him to hastily keep blinking in order to free himself of the fogginess that obstructed his vision. Panic crawled up Logan’s throat, he was crying… or he was about to start crying, and all of them… Patton, Virgil, and Roman were all going to see him break down. They were going to see him pathetically start weeping over what they could assume was no more than just their usual jab at him and nothing more. They wouldn’t know… they wouldn’t know how done he was, and how utterly hurt he was until they saw it dripping down his face. 

Patton reached out, his pinched worried expression reflecting in his eyes, “Logan,” He softly began, his hands opened peacefully. Almost immediately Logan felt himself recoiling from his touch, Patton didn’t get to watch every single insult thrown at him and only pretend to care when he finally showed the emotion that he wanted. He didn’t get to do that, he wouldn’t have stood for it to happen to Virgil… so why was he letting it happen at all? “Is something wro-” 

“Yes,” Logan hollowly said his tired eyes locking with Patton’s, he immediately took a single step back from Patton’s outstretched hand before it could even get close to reaching him. For a moment he wasn’t entirely sure on just what to do with his hands as he just stood there among the others, before eventually just settling on lightly hugging himself. Squeezing his sides until he was sure that his ribs would break. His lips trembled, and with each passing second he found himself trying harder and harder to suppress those tears “But..but I know better than to come for any of you for help on the matter.” That he did, if he told them what was wrong, what would come of it? Another joke? More and more of just being ignored every time he has something important to say? Being looked over until he broke in front of them once again?

He wanted to matter to them… and he wanted them to care. 

Not like this though, not when they had already pushed and pushed. Only just realizing that he too had a breaking point. They wanted to believe that they could say anything to him and it wouldn’t leave an impact anymore, well… he was done lying to them and letting the wool remain over their eyes.

There was a blur of motion as the tears raced their way down his cheeks, and before he even knew it his feet sank into the warm lush carpet of his bedroom. He.. he wasn’t there anymore, he was safe, he was in the safety of his room where he could cry and curl up in his bed with nobody being the wiser about any of it. Except… they now knew, they knew from just the smallest little instance that he could cry, that he could cry because of anything and everything. What kind of logic was that? What kind of logic wept about things that had already been long said and done, it was pathetic, to cry over such a thing. It was… wrong. 

And yet, cry he did. As the tears dripped down his face faster and faster, as a pitiful whimper bubbled up only to be crushed as he clamped his hand down over his mouth as the muffled sob shuddered out between the lips that he desperately attempted to keep closed. Honestly, he would have given anything to forget everything, or perhaps to just pretend that he didn’t hear what they had long since said, to pretend that of course, they loved him and always would. He would have loved to forget and to pretend that they did, and that he had never heard them, to begin with. But… he couldn’t, and that really wasn’t who he was, he wasn’t the kind of person to just... pretend everything away. He would remember, he would always remember. 

He couldn’t just not do that on a whim. No matter how much he wished that he could.

Logan clutched the pearly white bowl of the sink, his body remaining hunched over it as his tears spilled openly spilled into it. He didn’t even bother to stop the next whimper made its way up his throat as the warm tears streaked his face in a flurry of wetness and regret.

_ Logan! Everyone’s favorite character!  _ Four months, three weeks, and five days. 

_ Hush, you sub-astute teacher!  _ Six months, four weeks, and seven days.

_ You’re the least favorite, and you know it.  _ Eight months, two weeks, and three days. 

_ Logan...can you just stop?  _ Six months, four weeks, and seven days.

It felt like a drunken haze as the words swirled around in his head like a tornado wrecking every logical thought in its sight, he remembered it, he could remember it all down to the very last second that it had been said to him. He could recall the exact facial movement that the others made when they spat out their retorts and he could remember the exact way that it had stung him. Why did it have to be this way? Why did he have to be the odd one out now that Virgil was a part of the family? Why couldn’t he..why couldn’t he just belong? The thoughts seeped like poison in his head, and it burned, god it burned so badly that he wanted to grip his hair and rip the roots out of his scalp. He wanted to be sick and have them care, he wanted to stay sick and never see them again, to stay in his bedroom and never ever come out, he wanted to go back out and apologize so that things could stay as they always had been. The duality of his own thoughts made him want to crumple onto the floor and just… not think anymore. 

He wanted…

_ What do I want?  _ The tiny little thought popped up, and finally, he pried his own fingers away from his face as he stared at his own awful appearance in the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy, with fresh tears already streaming down his face. Underneath his glasses, dark circles from countless nights staying up and trying to do the best thing for Thomas. All of it now felt so useless, it was useless. None of them truly cared about what he contributed, he was boring to them… boring Logan with his boring spreadsheets caring about a boring upload schedule. He wanted… he wanted....

“I want them to stop being such liars.. I want them to stop lying to my face when they say that they ca.. love me.” His voice came out as a soft husky whisper as his words cracked and crumbled in his mouth, evident by how much he had been holding in his tears and stopping himself from truly feeling what he needed to feel. “I want them to stop acting like we’re one big happy family when.. when we’re really not.” They didn’t like him, they didn’t love him, and they most certainly didn’t tolerate him. They could barely stand him. 

_ That _ , was the truth of the matter.

“They’ve scorned you bad, nerd.” The familiar, and yet the completely foreign voice startled Logan, forcing him to spin around to catch just a hint of a caplet before it vanished into a pure white suit with a red sash. He wasn’t fooling anybody though, especially with the dotting of the green and golden scales and the yellow eye that remained staring sympathetically right back at him. There was a warm look that rested within those eyes, a look that squirmed beneath his skin in an entirely different way than the others.

“What do you want?” Logan gruffly asked, his posture as stiff as a board, all things considered… Deceit was really the last person that he wanted here to see him break down. Out of everything that had just happened, it really would be the icing on the cake of the mistake that was his day. However, Roman’s face.. his beautiful and sunnily warm face smiled back at Logan, with a knowing look that said more than what words alone could. It was a look that was normally reserved for Patton or Virgil exclusively, and it was a look that was being aimed right at him. Although, he knew exactly who it really was underneath all the red and golden colors of Roman’s uniform. Deceit knew that he knew too, especially given the tiny crooked smile that made Deceit shine through whatever form he took on. And despite that… no matter how he smirked, that sympathy remained in his eyes as he looked at Logan.

There was no judgment, and there was no pity. 

Holding his hands up peacefully just as Patton had done not even an hour ago, Deceit smoothly stepped forward. His movements were even and measured, as if even the most sudden of movements would send Logan scuttling back like a startled and wary zoo animal. Eventually, the dishonest side gingerly laid his hands on Logan’s shoulders giving them a brief squeeze before he spoke, “They’re all liars Logan.. they’ve hurt you.. they’ve scorned you.. and taunted you. They’ve unfairly blamed you,” Deceit moved Roman’s lips downward in an unsatisfactory frown as something akin to a fire sparked in Deceit’s mismatched eyes. He looked… angry wasn’t the right word for it, but protective. “If I may ask…” He took a deep breath forcing himself to calm down at least a little bit, “Do you believe that they love you? If you changed… do you think that they would still love you the way that they do now?” 

It appeared to be a genuine question, as Deceit pulled himself from the logical side, almost as if he were expecting to be punched in the face or in the very least shoved towards the open door of the bathroom. Stepping away from him Deceit idly walked his fingers along the doorframe, his eyes remaining locked onto the ground before darting back over to Logan. 

“Do you think that…” His fingers twisted the red sash that stretched itself across his chest, “Do you think that I could learn to love?” Deceit’s voice now took on a silken whisper as he straightened his back before once again meeting Logan’s eyes. There was an uncertainty there that lingered underneath the brown and gold eyes, there was an uncertainty that told Logan that underneath all of those villainous laughs and evil smirks… Deceit was someone who had lied and been lied to as well. How often had someone told him that because of who he was, or what he looked like… that nobody would ever like him?

How often had Deceit been made to feel like the ignored one?

He had barely noticed it, but Logan had moved closer and closer until their chests just barely brushed against one another, there was an odd warmth tingling in Deceit’s chest at the briefest amount of genuine contact with the logical side. And even so, Logan barely noticed it as he looked up into Deceit’s eyes as Roman’s face melted away bringing forth more and more patches of scales. Evident by the first of the curly locks coming forward rather than Roman’s soft combed back hair, there was a moment of silence between them as Deceit raised his hand offering it to Logan. A look that was charged and tense, as his hand remained there waiting for the logical side to either take it or swat it away.

It was the offering of a deal, but the exact kind was left unsaid to them both.

“You’re a liar,” Logan whispered back without any real heat behind it, and Deceit could easily agree with that, he very much was a liar. It was his title, after all, you couldn’t get any more descriptive than ‘Deceit’ of all things. In pretty much every way that matter but this he was a foul-mouthed liar, and even so… even knowing everything that he did about him. Logan took his hand and gripped it tight. 

Their deal wasn’t yet done though.

“Will it hurt?” Logan asked before they could take a single step out of this bathroom, his real feelings bleeding through for just a moment, allowing Deceit to see the slightest hints of fear and uncertainty that the logical side attempted to keep out of his eyes. But even so, Deceit could see it all, as Logan’s hand gripped his a little bit tighter, and as his teeth chewed on his bottom lip in a way that only those terrified of the next few moments could. “Not that such a thing would be an issue, I merely am not accustomed to pa-”

In one swift movement, Deceit’s hand gripped his own tighter before smoothly jerking him forward into the dishonest side’s chest. Before Logan could so much as open his mouth he felt a pair of lips touching the top of his head, and everything went silent. All of the worries and fears that rolled inside of his head felt as if they had been silenced in one fell swoop, as if the warm blanket of comfort had fallen over it all leaving him with not a single thing to worry about. It was… nice, with his thoughts not being so loud as they normally were, with his thoughts allowing him to feel for once, to just… 

Experience. 

“I won’t let it hurt, I can assure you that.” Deceit vehemently whispered back once he pulled his lips away from Logan’s forehead. “I won’t allow it to. I swear.” 

Gazing back at him, as he clutched the soft fabric of Deceit’s caplet and his heart pounded openly in his chest. Logan going out on a limb and figuratively putting his heart on the line allowed their lips met together for a brief second, it could barely be counted as a kiss, as his lips just brushed against Deceit’s allowing him ample time to pull away before they then parted. Just for the dishonest side’s lips crash back into his with even more fever and heat than before, not that he was complaining as he gripped Deceit tighter feeling the other’s arms cradling and holding him so very close. Logan could feel the scales brushing over his skin, and he could feel a change taking place as he sagged into Deceit’s arms his forehead thumping against the other side’s shoulder as the world spun around him in a blurry tango of colors and movement. 

He felt so.. so tired, his eyelids felt so unbelievably heavy as his knees buckled under him, sending him sprawling into Deceit’s arms. 

“I’ve got you… I’ve got you. I won’t let it hurt, and I won’t let any hurt come to you. I promise.” 

Chancing one last look in the mirror, as the exhaustion hit him in wave after wave, Logan caught a single glimpse of himself before Deceit gingerly picked him up carrying him towards the bed. Shutting his eyes, Logan swallowed thickly as he buried his face into the other side’s shoulder, he could still feel it. He could still feel what he had seen happening to him in the mirror, and… he wasn’t scared anymore. Any of the others would have been, they would have been repulsed and horrified at seeing themselves like this. But… with Deceit holding him the way that he was, as they both settled onto Logan’s bed, with the dishonest side gently holding him still, he wasn’t scared. 

Closing his eyes, Logan fell into unconsciousness with the feeling of Deceit’s fingers in his hair and the fish scales curling around his neck and growing over his face changing his eyes to a stunning silvery-blue color. That wasn’t the only kind of change he felt taking him over, but right now… none of it really mattered so much as the instantaneous relief he felt as he slowly but surely fell asleep in the arms of the one and only person the others would never have trusted to tell the truth. As he fell asleep with him… 

As they both became liars, together.

There had always been two Creativities, but now… there were two Deceits.


	2. Chapter 2

The trill of the alarm clock cut through the morning air like a finely sharpened knife, and before it could even think to go off a second time a hand hastily shot out and silenced it for good. 

Discomfort radiated through Logan’s bones, feeling all too similar to the sensation of having run five miles in less than three hours. His muscles felt like they had tied themselves into knots, as he attempted to stretch out his sore legs along his bed, burying his face even more into Deceit’s leg as he attempted to crack open his eyes. With the sheer exhaustion that both he and his body felt, it was a miracle that he didn’t fall asleep right then and there. It was just thanks to the twinging of discomfort in his joints and muscles that made such a thing impossible for him, even the softness of his own bed made it feel as if he was laying on a bed of concrete. 

Under him, Deceit squirmed as well as his fingers reflexively curled into the logical side’s messy hair.

“Good morning,” Logan mumbled into Deceit’s leg, feeling something akin to warmth and giddiness upon knowing that the other side was still here and hadn’t left the moment that he had fallen asleep. Turning his head, Logan for the first time in a long while felt a genuine smile tugging at his lips as he opened his eyes in order to gaze warmly up at the dishonest side, “How did yo-” Just for the warm sunlight beaming in through the window to feel like scorching hot coals pressing into his eye sockets.

Within seconds, a pained noise sounding like something an injured animal and the sound an ordinary human would make escaped from his lips before he even had a chance to stop it. He’d never felt such an awful sensation grating against the inside of his brain, not even when Thomas had gotten drunk and suffered from one of the worst hangovers that he could recall. 

This.. whatever this was, was so much worse than anything he’d ever felt in his entire existence. 

“Easy does it, easy...” Deceit murmured, his gloved hands hastily pressing over Logan’s eyes in an effort to block out the nearly blinding sunlight coming in through the window of his bedroom, his thumb gingerly stroked the logical side’s temple as sympathy and guilt coursed through him. Out of everything, this had to be the one thing that he had to forget to tell Logan about. He could still recall how unbearably uncomfortable being stuck with one snake eye had made him, and Logan... Logan didn’t even have the mercy of having just one weird eye, he had two now. “Your new eyes aren’t yet adjusted to natural lighting well enough yet, it’ll take a few days. It’s like… like a new pair of glasses.” He explained, as the knot of guilt in his chest slowly eased as soon as Logan’s breathing calmed. “Okay?” 

For a moment there was nothing but silence as the ex-logical side’s fingers dug into the side of his leg before eventually going slack. Just silence and the even motion of Logan’s chest rising and falling with each breath that he took. For that moment there was nothing, at least not until Logan’s grasp on Deceit’s leg abruptly loosened as he shifted his grip in an effort to loosely run his fingers over the other side’s hand that was still firmly pressed over his eyes. It was with that moment alone, that Deceit felt himself go slack as he gingerly intertwined his fingers with Logan’s, a warmth burning in his chest, unlike anything he’d ever had the pleasure of feeling before. Remus was one thing when it came to touchy-feely emotions, but right now… here… 

He was feeling things that he never thought that he was allowed to. 

“Deceit,” Logan swallowed thickly as he adjusted himself against the dishonest side’s chest, “What’s going to happen now? I…” Again he swallowed, as the nervous thoughts of what was going to happen and what had already happened ran amuck in his head. Just how would the others react to seeing him like this? How would he react to their reaction? What would happen to him now that he wasn’t pure Logic anymore? His room had always been in the centermost part of Thomas’ logical thinking, so.. so where was it going to be now? Would he be without a room?

Above all else though, there was a worry that ate at him more than any of the others. There was no way on earth that Patton, Roman, and Virgil were going to accept any of this, there was no way that they wouldn’t blame Deceit for all of this, and… there was no way on earth that they were going to make him feel wrong for choosing this. 

A soft but rough sigh escaped Deceit’s lips as he shifted his hand, running his gloved fingers through Logan’s hair now that the logical side knew to keep his eyes shut. “I..” The words twisted on his tongue, and it took a genuine effort to not let lies alone spill forth at the difficult question. “I don’t know,” He finally admitted, “The split between creativity was something completely different than this, you.. you more or less chose to be logical deceit who deals with emotions while I’m purely Thomas’... emotional deceit that has to deal with… the logic so to say. I’m not going to force you to stay with me, and I’m not going to force you to turn away from the others. You can do whatever you want to now that you can see their lies for yourself. I won’t… get in the way, and I’m not going to tell you whether what you’re doing is right or wrong. That’s for you to choose, it always will be.” 

Another squeeze came from Logan, as he clutched Deceit’s hands just the slightest bit tighter. 

“Okay.” Came the soft and near-silent response to the dishonest side’s words, a single word and yet it was a word that to both of them meant so very much. 

For the longest time, they just laid there, with Logan nestling is face against the softness of Deceit’s caplet feeling like aloe against a rough sunburn in compared to how everything else felt against his new scales. He would have been content to stay there, neither of them moving a single inch until their bodies demanded it, and just the two of them relaxing in a calm quiet atmosphere that almost and very nearly made them both nod off again with how relaxing it was to just relax with one another. The constant feeling of Deceit’s fingers running through his hair, coupled with the hand that consistently ran up and down his back felt… blissful. There was really no other word for it, as his consciousness faded in and out of sleep with each gentle movement of Deceit’s hand. 

Unfortunately, their time together wasn’t to last. 

Not as the sound of what could only be described as a thousand voices pounding at the inside of his skull, crashed against his mind in a flurry of wave after wave. Within an instant, his hands that had been laying against Deceit’s chest bunched up and clawed at the dishonest side’s chest, as a pained cry left his lips. They really weren’t going to let him have a single second, were they? The voices scream and bellowed his name, howling it with the force of a hurricane crashing against the land. The nausea from such an assault hit him like a gale-force wind, and it was an honest struggle to not throw up all over Deceit.

“Is it the light?! Here, this will help!” The dishonest side in question worriedly asked, gripping is caplet tight as he moved to cover Logan’s face with it, in an effort to shield his new eyes from the burning prickling light of the day. 

Just to stop dead, as Logan scrunched up his face shaking his head into Deceit’s shoulder as pained tears pricked at his eyes. His hand remained frozen though, still holding the black fabric of his caplet up just in case Logan should have need of it. He watched the other thickly swallow his Adam’s apple bobbing with the motion, as if he was fighting back the urge to throw up. His grip on Deceit’s shirt hadn’t lessened in the slightest as he burrowed his head even more into him, before abruptly pulling away his eyes still shut just as tightly as they had been before. 

“They.. they’re trying to summon me.” Logan hoarsely answered, just the sheer force of them trying to do it when he didn’t want to show up, told him exactly what Virgil had felt when they had tried to make him rise up after he had ducked out. Nevertheless, a sharp biting laugh fell from his lips, as he blindly took off his glasses summoning something else in their place. “They’re not very good at doing it when I’d rather stay here with you.” 

Opening his eyes for the first time, Logan was graced with seeing the flush that descended the human side of Deceit’s face through the sunglasses he had slid on. It was a beautiful sight he had to admit, no matter how he tried to hide it by scrunching his face down into the collar of his button-up shirt. Logan could see it all, and just the sight of it made something warm throb in his heart. He wanted nothing more than to lean in and cover every one of those scales with a kiss that would wipe away Deceit’s concern about being loveable by the others’ standards. He wanted to cup and cradle his face, and he wanted to feel the warmth of the blush on his fingers. He wanted to brush his fingers over the apple of Deceit’s cheek, so that he couldn’t even think about hiding his blush from him. 

He knew what he wanted to do. 

The dishonest side cleared his throat, dragged his gaze away from Logan. “So... “ He began, acting as if the scarlet red flush on his non-scaled side was non-existent. “What are you going to do then?” 

Nevertheless, what he wanted would have to wait. 

“I,” Logan wrinkled his nose a little, and in that very second Deceit wanted to touch the wrinkles that such an action made on the other side’s face. He would have called it cute, except for the slight quirk of Logan’s lips. “Need a bit of a change, I can’t exactly show up after who knows how long looking like this.” In one gesture Logan motioned to himself, and at that moment Deceit felt something akin to disappointment crackling under his skin. 

Did… did Logan mean the scales? He understood that they weren’t exactly desirable to many of the other sides but in the very least he would have thought that Logan would want to keep them instead of pretending like they never existed in the first place. Then again… he was deceit now too, whatever he did with that title was his to choose from. He had even said that he wouldn’t argue with whatever Logan decided to do now that he had changed himself. 

So he could only watch as Logan slid off of the bed, and with a click of his fingers he-

Changed his clothes. 

The smooth leather of the jacket felt like silk on his scales and with his glasses no longer perched on his face, the sunglasses that protected his new eyes from the head-splitting migraines was a familiar weight while being completely different all at the same time. Even the ripped pants and worn leather of the boots felt all too different, and comforting to him in his new form. For half a second he was tempted to toss his tie away, to rip it from around his neck and toss into the depths of his closet so that he could never find it again. But after a careful amount of consideration, he merely settled on leaving it hanging around his neck, untied and fluttering at the slightest movement that he made. Looking in the mirror he couldn’t help but to grin at himself, his fangs glinting in the light of his bedroom. 

He looked like a completely different person entirely, with his tie being the only link to who he had once been in the past. And the jury was still out on whether he’d even keep it or not, all things considered… he wasn’t really that serious anymore. 

“Well,” He began, turning so that Deceit could see every inch of him and his new outfit. “How do I look?” 

Gloved hands stroked the side of his face, a movement that Logan easily leaned into without a second’s worth of hesitation on the matter. The proud and equally excited smirk on Deceit’s face said it all as his eyes brimmed with the kind of emotion that he couldn’t accurately describe, but not before he leaned in pressing a solid kiss against the ex-logical side’s forehead. Letting it linger for a moment too long before pulling away, his hands drifting back down to rest on his shoulders. 

“You look ready… Deceit.” 


	3. Chapter 3

At first, there was nothing but a blinding light, there was nothing but light and a blistering warmth that rubbed all over his skin in both the worst but also the best kind of ways. He felt warm, warmer than he ever had since he had been formed, it took a solid few minutes for his eyes to adjust to the blinding light of everything around him, forcing him to squint as he remained huddled there his fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt. When he could finally crack his eyes open blinking away the sunspots in his vision, he saw three separate people openly staring back at him with a strange look on each of their faces. The one in white and red had reached for something at his side, while the one in black and purple had scrunched the strings of his hoodie to the point that his knuckles were barebone and as white, as could be, while the last one in grey and blue… 

He had liquid dripping down his face?

“Who are you?” The one in white demanded his lips curling upward in what could only be described as the motion a horrible beast made before sinking its teeth into the flesh of its prey. Had it not been for the shaking and trembling of his shoulders, and the way that his hand spasmed over the hilt of his weapon he would have thought that he was just mere seconds away from being slaughtered where he stood. “Who are you?! Speak!” He barked out again, as a strange look spasmed over his face like an ugly scar that made his brows furrow and his eyes look impossibly dark. 

He couldn’t help but to flinch back as if he had just been slapped, at the sheer loudness of the other’s voice, his shoulders hunching up instinctively as he took a half-step away from him. The noise that sprung up from his throat wasn’t the most… intellectual noise, but it was a noise that accurately portrayed the situation that he was in right now. He didn’t understand, he didn’t get it. What were they? What were these looks on their faces? Why were they acting so.. so hostile towards him? What was this sensation in his chest? 

Why was his heart racing in such a way, and why did his hands feel so clammy? 

Swallowing thickly his hands twisted the material of his shirt, the other had asked a question and it was the only question that he knew the answer to. “I…” He curled, even more, in on himself as the line of the other’s mouth set in a deep line, “I am Logic.”

Almost immediately he knew that this was the wrong thing to say. 

“You are NOT!” A sharp hiss came from his right, and if he hadn’t been backing away from the group of three before, then he most certainly was now. As the black and purple dressed side that had been pulling on the strings of his hoodie, clutched them all the tighter as he stalked off the final step of the stairs rounding in on him. The look on his face really didn’t match the glossy look in his eyes though, as the other side roughly poked at his chest making him take a step back each time. “You are not Logan! You might as well show yourself now Deceit, because this most certainly isn’t funny! This is going too far for even me Deceit. Stop. It. Stop it  **now** !” By the end of his spiel, he soon enough found his wrist captured by the other side, with a single rough gesture ensuring that he couldn’t take a single step away from any of them. 

The feeling of his heart thudding in his chest only got worse and worse the longer that he stood before them, his lungs struggling to catch even the slightest bit of oxygen while his hands got clammier and clammier. What was wrong with him? Was he malfunctioning? 

Did he need to be replaced already?

“Please,” Attempting to squirm and pull his wrist free of the other’s grip was more useless than anything else, and yet he tried to do so anyway. “I.. I don’t know who Deceit is! I’m Logic! I am! Please! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!” He didn’t understand… he really didn’t understand. Why couldn’t he see now? Why couldn’t he get the rest of his words out, his throat felt so clogged up and so.. broken, why couldn’t he speak? Why couldn’t he remain calm? What was wrong with him? What was wrong with him? 

Why was he broken? 

“I’d appreciate it if you released my protege right  _ now  _ Anxiety.” 

Logan’s icy cold voice broke through the silence that had only been broken by Logic’s desperate whimpers as he had attempted to pull away from Virgil again and again to no avail. However, the moment that he had made himself known, Virgil’s grip had gone slack allowing Logic’s hand to slip free before he practically threw himself away from the anxious side, and right towards Logan’s waiting arms. A feeling unlike any other burned inside of Logan’s chest, as he felt the sheer amount of trembling taking over his protege’s entire body. He was shaking like a leaf in the wind, as he buried his face into Logan’s shoulder, his white-knuckled fingers digging into Logan’s leather jacket as he pitifully sniffled. 

“Loga-” 

“Shut. It.” Logan hissed darkly, watching as the exuberant smile on Patton’s face withered and died at the purely rage-filled look that Logan shot at him. Running his fingers through Logic’s hair he turned his attention away from the others, not even offering them a second glance or even the slightest explanation of why he looked so different than he had from just a day ago. “What you’re experiencing right now, is fear. The common side effects of this emotion include the brain becoming hyperalert, the pupils dilate, the bronchi will dilate and your breathing will accelerate beyond comfortable measures. You might have noticed it, but your heart rate and blood pressure will also rise. This is normal,” Logan softly instructed, the memory of the first time he had experienced fear was not a pleasant one, and he’d been forced to learn just what it meant all by himself. “Take a breath, and just breathe. Listen to my voice.” 

“This is normal… this is normal…” Logic softly parroted back, his words alone muffled by the material of Logan’s jacket in an effort to block himself from the view of the other three sides.

It took a while, but eventually, the tremors that raked through Logic’s body dulled to a slight shiver as Logan continued to speak in the calm soothing manner that left no room for argument among the other sides. That didn’t mean that Logan’s furious anger towards the others had diminished any though, if anything seeing the worn-out and terrified state of this new Logic had made him even angrier at the others for just how badly they handled the situation in general. Honestly, he had thought that they couldn’t get any worse when it came to those who held the title of Logic, but really… this just proved how wrong he really was about the whole thing. 

For a moment he felt a surge of protectiveness swell in his chest as he squeezed the new Logic tighter, “Go on and sit on down, they aren’t going to bother you right now. Relax.” Gesturing towards the couch, Logan watched as Logic squeezed past Roman his fists clenched so tight that his nails were cutting into his palms. That sour feeling only burned hotter the second that Logic flinched away from the creative side the very second that Roman had moved in order to give Logic some space, it burned inside of him like an inferno that would take everything with it. 

“Logan!” Roman blurted out, the very second that Logic had taken his seat scrunching his knees right up to his chest as he stared at the floor, “Just what is going on?! Why is a new Logic here?! What happened to your face?! Why are you suddenly so fashionable?!” Out of everything that Roman could have been concerned about of course that was what he had chosen to focus on, the fact that now… now of all times, Logan had chosen to upgrade his wardrobe to something that wasn’t his usual shirt and tie. 

Of course.

Irritation stung in Logan’s chest as he regarded all of them cooly, the eyes that were hidden behind his sunglasses narrowed and as sharp as glass. His lips pressed themselves into a thin as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, and just looking at them, he could see all of their lies as clear as day written all over themselves. Every lie that he had ever come to believe in with such a minimal effort despite what common sense should have told him, and every lie that had apparently been for the “greater good”. His greater good apparently. Just the very notion made that liquid hot sensation of rage lick at his insides like a wild serpent rearing its head back ready to strike at anything and everything that moved. 

“Logan…” Patton softly whispered, as he slowly inched closer to Logan. Holding his hand up he moved to touch the scales that curled around Logan’s neck and right over the slope of his nose, the scales sparkled like freshly gleaming silver. The look of tears remained in Patton’s eyes, no matter how he tried to blink them away. “What did you do?”

Logan’s lips quirked distastefully downward, “I,” Logan hissed sourly as he promptly swatted Patton’s hand away, “Am Deceit now, accept it or deny it. But that is who I am, and Logic is who he is… and that’s that.” 

“Why?” Virgil demanded as he stepped forward, his lips curling into his infamous snarling scowl as his fists clenched and unclenched. He looked like he wanted to punch Logan right in the face, and not much else than that. “Why?!” 

Something akin to cold impassiveness fell over Logan’s face as his empty stare hidden behind his sunglasses remained as cold as ever. It made something inside of Virgil tremble, not necessarily out of fear, but something a lot closer to heartbreak than anything having to do with his primary function. He didn’t know that such a look could ever exist on Logan’s face, let alone directed towards him.. towards any of them really. He felt almost as if he were looking at a different person entirely, he wasn’t even sure if he could even blame Logan for this despite how much he wanted to. They… they hadn’t exactly been nice to Logan in the passing months, he had assumed that Logan merely hadn’t noticed it, as if that meant they could keep doing it to him. 

Since when had he started to notice though? Since when had he cared? 

“Having falsehoods disguised as truths by those you cared for more than anything in the world can hurt Anxiety,” Logan frigidly answered, his posture just as straight and stiff as it always had been. “I no longer wished to have the wool pulled over my eyes, is that such a hard thing to believe that I would want? Is it so hard to believe that I could get tired of your constant degrading remarks? Or were you simply unaware that I would ever get tired of you?” 

That stung. Virgil reared back as if he had just been slapped, his eyes widening at the heartless words that Logan had so carelessly thrown at him as it had meant nothing at all. 

He.. he didn’t truly mean it though, did he? Logan of all people couldn’t mean such a thing… right? This was Logan, the one who always spouted off logical facts about space when he was excited and whenever Virgil needed something to ease his anxiety towards a situation. Logan had always… he had… he had always taken the harsh words that any of them had to say, with only the mumbled words of a “diss track” falling from his lips without any real heat to it. Logan… who had long since decided that arguing against their jokes and their nicknames just wasn’t worth it? Logan who… felt hurt by them all. 

“But we’re family Lo! You can’t just.. just change things like this!” Patton blurted out, growing more and more distressed by the silent tears that now ran down Virgil’s cheeks, he could feel his own heart breaking at the situation before him. But even more so at the complete lack of ways to stop it from happening, “Apologize to Virgil right now, Lo. You don’t talk to family like that!” 

“Lie.” 

For a second Patton sputtered, “What?” 

The darkness of Logan’s expression was extremely telling as his knuckles cracked with how much force he was gripping his own arm with, “That was a lie you just said Patton,” He growled, finally turning from Virgil to round in on their resident happy pappy moral side, the rage he had felt only a moment ago dwarfed in the utterly chaotic feeling of betrayal he was experiencing right this very second. “You just lied to me…” 


	4. Chapter 4

Patton scrambled to find his words as his eyes darted from Virgil, to Roman, and then right back to the angry scowl that was written all over Logan’s face. He had never seen such a look of sheer anger and menace on the other side’s face, in fact… he had never seen a look of such strong emotion period on his face before. He wasn’t sure what caused it, or even if the switch from Logic to Deceit had something to do with it, but Patton couldn’t help but to step back as terror in the form of a hand around his heart squeezed, and squeezed tight. This wasn’t the Logan that he knew and loved, this… this was the Logan who was angry and wouldn’t stop being angry. 

That much was glaringly obvious to him. 

“Logan, Logan wait!” He sputtered, holding his hands out in a vain attempt to stop the now deceitful side from taking a single step closer to him. “Logan!” He practically begged, the sheer terror in his voice making his words crack and his tone increase in pitch. His bottom lip trembled as mist obscured his vision, making it practically impossible nothing more than the vague blurry blob of motion that was Logan stalking towards him. He had always said that he was the accumulation of every one of Thomas’ emotions, and he was right, because right this very instance… he was petrified. 

Logan didn’t care, the taste of the lie hit him in a wave of sour. Like the smell and taste of food that had long since past the rotting stage, and had ventured into utterly decaying well beyond repair. The knowledge that such a lie came from Patton of people, about.. about such a simple ideal… about FAMILY of all things. The honest to god knowledge of such a lie held Logan’s throat in a crushing headlock and refused to let him go. 

It hurt, why did the truth always have to hurt? 

“Logan that’s enough!” In a matter of seconds, before he could even take a single step closer to Patton, Roman’s rough hand caught his arm stopping him dead in his tracks. His grip was tight, crushing, and most definitely going to leave a bruise the next morning as he forcibly held Logan in place. 

“Let me go right  _ now  _ Creativity…” 

“Logan… I am Roman. That is my name, you earned the right to know it. And whether you’re calling yourself Logic or Deceit, you can still call me by my name. That will never change between us...” Looking back into Roman’s eyes, Logan was at a loss for a second. The truth rushing over his senses like cool water on a hot sweaty summers day, the look of urgent honesty in the creative side’s eyes took him physically aback. “Look I get it,” Roman whispered not moving a single inch, his tone a hell of a lot softer than his grip. “You’re angry. But right now you’re going to sit down, I am going to make tea, and we’re all going to calm down for a second. Got it?” 

Without so much as waiting for an answer, Roman gently shoved Logan towards the sofa where Logic had remained not saying a single peep since Logan had come to his defense. Logic only lifted his eyes from where they had been fixed to the ground when Logan stiffly sat beside him, his back so straight that it wasn’t even touching the couch cushion as his fists bunched up the fabric of his ripped jeans he was gripping them so tightly. He looked… he looked… Logic didn’t exactly have a word for it, he couldn’t describe the pinched up expression on Logan’s face. 

Was it one of those… _emotion _things that his predecessor had explained to him before? 

Nevertheless, Logic’s eyes darted all around the room as he scrunched his body up as tightly as he possibly could the moment that Roman passed him in order to head on to the kitchen. Another kind of pinched look passed over the creative side’s features, yet another…  _ emotion  _ that he didn’t fully understand as of yet. Seemingly following Roman’s lead though, Virgil hunkered down on the bottom step as he played with the end strings of his hoodie, all while doing his damnest to keep his eye contact away from both Logic and Logan. Although the occasional muted sniffles coming from his direction left very little to be desired as he flipped his hood up, trying his best to obscure his face from their line of sight. 

It was with a blur of movement, however, that Patton assessed the mood of the room and hastily made his exit towards the kitchen. Subsequently joining Roman while leaving the others to their own devices, honestly… a mistake if you asked Virgil. 

The minutes slowly oozed on by as Logan stubbornly sat there with his arms frozen in that one position and his back as straight as a board, for a moment it even looked like he was even holding his breath too. At least before he finally thumped back against the couch cushions, his body losing all tension as he flopped back looking quite boneless for a moment as he leaned his head back staring blankly up at the ceiling. A part of Logic wanted to copy him, as he readjusted his scrunched up body to look just as loose and formless as Logan’s before he threw his head solidly smacking it against the wall. The tiny quirk of Logan’s lips told him well enough, that even if he hadn’t meant to, his actions were at least somewhat humorous to the new deceitful side. And honestly… that was good enough for Logic right now.

He didn’t like this tense atmosphere, as it left a sickening and twisting sensation in his stomach. Like someone had just reached inside of him and decided to play Jumanji with his internal organs, which… honestly wasn’t a very satisfying feeling. 

Leaning slightly against Logan, Logic gingerly nudged him in order to garner his attention for a second. 

“Thank you,” He softly whispered, trying his best to keep his voice low enough so that Virgil couldn’t hear what he was saying. It would be useless even if he didn’t know it, but regardless he tried anyway. “Thank you for coming to defend me from them, I don’t quite get this emotion thing but.. but thank you… just thank you.” His hands bunched up the material of his light blue cotton button-up shirt that had a ton of fun looking mathematical equations scribbled all over it. “I don’t know what I would have done had you not shown up, he…” Logic’s eyes shifted fearfully over to Virgil, “He’s scary.”

Something in Logan’s expression softened for a moment, as he regarded his replacement as logic itself. He had been alone when he had first formed, there had been no one to explain to him what the feelings inside of him meant, and there had been no one to explain to him that as Logic… it was more than okay if he didn’t know how to express those feelings. He had been completely and utterly lost, with no clue on what he was supposed to do. 

But…

It didn’t have to be the same for this Logic, he didn’t have to be alone. 

“Here,” The loose tie around his neck easily slid off as he pulled at it, the silken fabric felt wrong in his hands as it rubbed against his scales leaving the places that it touched feeling almost itchy in a way. “You’ll find a good use for it as Logic, when you wear it you won’t ever need to be scared again. I promise.” 

An open look of awe and reverence spread over Logic’s face as his trembling hands gingerly took the tie from Logan. “I… I don’t even know how to tie it.” He softly admitted, as if that made him any less qualified to be ‘The’ Logic for Thomas. “What if I ruin it and mess it up?” He asked, clearly asking about more than just the tie at this point. 

“You won’t, you’re made for this after all.” 

Agony spiked through the anxious side in question as he watched the two’s interaction, and even more so at that soft admittance of fear that just barely managed to make it to his ears. If he hadn’t already cried all of his tears he was certain that the waterworks would have begun again. The silence around them felt stifling at this point, just as stifling as the hand squeezing and squeezing his chest ensuring that he felt every second of agony that he must have inflicted on the new side before him. He had scared him after all, even after he had put in so much effort to try and not scare the others anymore, to not be the villain, and to just be better in general… Remus had been right, despite everything he could never stop being the bad guy. 

Despite everything... 

“I… I’m sorry,” Virgil finally broke the silence as his eyes darted between this new Logic and the new Deceit, as his hands shook violently in his jacket. “I’m sorry Logan, I-”

“Are you sorry?” Before he could even finish his sentence Logan looked up from where he had laid his head back, coldly regarding Virgil with a stare that was moderately better than the icy cold glare he had given them before. “Are you sorry for what you said… or are you sorry that you just called out on it because you suddenly figured out that it hurt my feelings?” Logan asked seriously as he leaned forward, his gaze hidden behind his sunglasses as he cooly stared Virgil down with a thin-lipped grimace of something between heartbreak and stoicism that truly told the other side how he felt. “Which is it going to be V? I do so very eagerly want to know.”

Virgil swallowed thickly as he stared back at that hidden but equally hurt gaze, he couldn’t lie… he very well knew that he couldn’t lie. Logan would know if he did, and really… nothing would get resolved if he did, so there wasn’t a point to delaying what would inevitably come. “A little bit of both,” He finally exhaled the words, it hurt him to say it, but… it needed to be said. “I am sorry that anything and everything that I said hurt your feelings, and… at the same time, I’m sorry that I had to be called out about it to figure out that what I was doing was so clearly wrong. It should have been obvious,” He exclaimed angrily, roughly tugging on the end of one of his strings making the whole thing even more frazzled. “I didn’t like it when any of you antagonized me, so.. I should never have done the same to you because I knew you couldn’t fight back. It makes me wrong, and it makes me the bully. And I...” The anxious side’s gaze shifted over to Logic for a moment, before smoothly shifting back down to the ground as he forced himself to look away. “I.. I don’t want to be a bully.” 

The fabric of Logan’s tie slid between Logic’s fingers as he nervously twisted it and ran it over his palms again and again as soon as Virgil’s eyes had locked onto him, he couldn’t help but to feel so very small under that gaze. Like he was a little baby rabbit just mere inches away from the razor-sharp talons of a hawk swooping in to snatch him up and kill him right then and there. It was a gaze that despite everything that he had said, made him feel weak and helpless. And despite having only come into existence not even an hour ago, he could already tell that it wasn’t a feeling that he very much enjoyed. He… he didn’t want to forgive Anxiety, not after how his thundering voice still echoed in his ears and how the grip around his wrist had felt like it could crush his bones. 

His insides felt like they were being squeezed again. 

“I don’t like you,” Logic softly admitted before Logan could even say a word to Virgil, he ignored the pang in his gut at the wounded expression that crossed the others face. “You’re scary, your voice is loud, and you were very mean to me even though you didn’t even know who I was. You just assumed, you assumed I was bad when I didn’t even do anything to you.” Logic exclaimed heat burning his eyes as he stared harshly back at Virgil, “You’re scary,” He repeated, not enjoying the flinch that Virgil gave at that word, licking his lips anxiously Logic finally stood on his trembling legs as he strode over to Virgil. 

Each step made the anxious side flinch back as he retreated more and more into his hoodie, just to freeze as soon as Logic stood barely an inch away from him. Virgil held his breath as he stared up at the logical side who was still clutching that blue striped tie in his hand, as if that would give him all the strength in the world to do what needed to be done.

“My name is Delta.” 


	5. Chapter 5

The moment that he entered the kitchen, hearing the clattered of too many cups and the smell of coffee and tea being prepared Patton felt something in his chest tremble as his bottom lip wobbled at the onslaught of tears that threatened to overcome him. He.. he had never seen Logan so overtly furious before, and never before had it ever been aimed at him. He’d always said that he needed two cookies for bad days, but today… it felt like not even a million cookies could ever begin to make him feel like a normal functioning side ever again. He felt split, right down the middle as he struggled to both shove down the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, and just weep like there was no tomorrow. 

Was this what Roman and Remus had felt like when they’d been split apart? 

He hoped not, because honestly… what he was feeling right now was awful, and he wouldn’t wish it on his greatest enemy even if he had one. 

The sight of Roman hovering over the stove hastily preparing the tea that he had said he was going to get ready for everyone blurred as the tears swept over his vision again, and before he could even think to stop himself a whimper curled up in his throat stopping Roman’s actions dead in their tracks. His hands remaining frozen where he held the mixing spoon hastily stirring the tea in an effort to keep his mind off of things, however, at that sound… that one little sound coming from Patton his entire world froze in a heartbeat as his breath caught in his lungs. 

“Mi Cielo!” The words rushed out of Roman as he quickly put the teapot on a cool burner, wasting absolutely no time at all as he rushed to Patton’s side. “Oh, Cielo please don’t cry.” He practically begged as he cupped Patton’s face like it was the most important thing in the world to him, and he was… he honestly was. But watching Patton break down right in front of him left his heart feeling open and jagged, like the rocks of a tomb that hundreds of climbers had perished on. 

He felt like he was breaking, even if he was entirely whole. 

Patton’s bottom lip wobbled as the tears streaked his face, “I..I’m sorry!” He stammered out, his fingers curling into Roman’s shirt as he practically threw himself at the creative side burying his face into his shoulder as he felt those warm hands rubbing up and down his back just as they always did. “I’m so sorry! I.. I didn’t mean for any of this.. I.. I do want us to be..to be a…” 

“Patton…” Roman stopped him before he could say another word and just make himself that much more upset. “My love, my heart, and my joy... we.. we can’t be a family.” He whispered, just feeling Patton’s tremblings increase at his words, and even despite this he kissed the top of the moral side’s head in a placating manner. “As it stands… We can’t even accept the sides of Thomas that are scary to him, we argued and ignored Logan to the point that he needed to leave us, and… and we weren’t exactly welcoming to Logic, Patton. I love you… but I will not lie to you about this. To them, we.. we are the farthest thing from family, you don’t hurt family. And as much as I regret it, we.. we have hurt them all a great deal. We can’t just wipe that under the rug, they deserve better than that.” 

It was true, they had come to accept Virgil sure… but it was only after he had ducked out and had made his own feelings about them very clear. And even then… it seemed like Virgil still forgot that he didn’t need to be on the defense with them, especially given how much Roman got in bed with him at the end of the day with his own feelings hurt and stripped away thanks to the barbs of Virgil’s words. Roman had Patton, to hold him and make him feel better at the end of the day, but… nobody had been there for Logan. 

Why hadn’t he been there for Logan too?

The familiar feeling of guilt spread its inky webs through his heart, making him clutch at Roman all the tighter. 

“I’m such a hypocrite,” The moral side whispered into Roman’s shoulder, “I talk about how lying is so bad.. and shouldn’t be done no matter what. And.. and here I am, lying to myself, and everyone else constantly, I lied when I said that I was just Thomas’ happy emotions, and that when I thought I could hide everything with a smile. No wonder…” The guilt increased like an anvil of weight on his chest as he choked the words out, “No wonder Deceit’s grown tired of hiding, we use assets of him and.. and Remus every single day, and then deny they exist at all. I’m such a hypocrite, I’m such a ba-” 

“No!” 

Roman growled the words out, as he detached himself from Patton. He wouldn’t stand to hear that last word come from Patton’s mouth, he would not stand for it to leave his lips… he couldn’t. Stroking away the leftover tears away with the pad of his thumb, Roman leaned in stealing whatever words Patton could say with a soft and tender kiss that would have gone on and on had it not been for the overbearing knowledge that other people were waiting on them to come back and actually give them tea. If they stayed in here too long… there was no telling just what would happen next with Logan and his ability to now tell their lies apart. 

So it was with great reluctance that Roman pulled away, as Patton’s once tearstain face was now stained with various shades of pink. 

If he hadn’t been smitten for Patton before… well, then this most certainly did it. 

“Come on mi Cielo, help me with the tea? You know how Logan likes it best right?” It took a few seconds, as Patton hurriedly wiped the remaining tears from his face and put on an affectionate smile that said more than words ever could. But eventually, he nodded before pushing the sleeves of his cat hoodie up and getting to work right alongside the creative side. “Great,” Roman murmured, swapping one last chaste kiss with the moral side before they both got to work. 

The smell that filled the kitchen was absolutely divine. 

They ended up carrying the various array of mugs out on the biggest plate that they had, it wobbled precariously at times. With the massive mug that belonged to Logan and the thin delicate teacup that was Roman’s taking up a good chunk of space on the same platter. But nevertheless, they managed to get all of them out there, setting the cups in front of each side. It had been all too easy to hand Virgil over his cup of tea, and even easier to go right ahead to sipping on it like he usually did. But… Patton honestly didn’t think that there was anything as hard as putting Logan’s starry mug in front of him, and watching him not drink a single drop of the warm liquid that was inside of it. 

“Its..” Patton swallowed thickly at the piercing stare that snapped up to him the moment that he opened his mouth. “It’s mocha mint, just how you like it.” He offered, folding his hands behind his back in an effort to hide just how badly they were trembling. He couldn’t stand the piercing untrustworthy stare that Logan had saddled him with, it hurt… it hurt more than any heartbreak ever had in his entire life. 

But… he had done this, so he would accept whatever consequences came his way. 

A rush of relief swept through him though, when Logan still eying him cautiously, gingerly picked up his mug and took a delicate sip from it before blowing on it again. He still trusted them well enough to actually eat in front of them, let alone something that they had made, so that was more than what could be said when Virgil had first started joining them for meals. So maybe… just maybe things weren’t totally lost between all of them, maybe there was still some semblance of hope that remained between them. 

Logan blew on the warm drink again, just to stop the cup hovering right under his lips as he saw Logi.. no Delta’s lingering but equally stare focused on the cup in his hands. “Here,” He mumbled, carefully passing the cup over to him, “Blow on it first, it’s still a little warm. You might like it.” He offered, quirking a tiny smile at the sheer newborn curiosity coming off of Delta in waves. He.. he was very much like himself, when Logan had first formed for Thomas. He had been curious about everything, to the point that Patton had made it rule that he had to wear oven mitts for safety whenever he walked into the kitchen at one point.

Those days had been amazing, better than amazing really…

Gone.

“What’s the taste?” Patton could have melted at the childlike curiosity written all over this new Logic’s face, as sipped and sipped again from Logan’s mug with the scientific calculations of someone who was conducting tests. It reminded him eerily of those times when Logan would create “potions” out of random things he found in the imagination. Which usually just ended up being big pots of mud that Logan was stirring with a stick he had found, that had never stopped him though, especially when Roman started to play alone. Creating quests in search of Logan’s legendary potion ingredients.

Those had really been the days that they had got alone best, nothing like now… where the only way Logan would look at them, was with a scowl. 

“That’s mint, it's a cold taste. While the other is bits of chocolate, it's smooth.” Logan helpfully explained as that smile… that tiny warm smile that lit up the smallest parts of his face seemed to shine. “It tastes good yes? The combination is one that I am quite particular for it, even…  _ they  _ seem to know that.” 

That stung. 

Patton couldn’t help but to sharply wince at the direction of those words, as he clutched his warm cup even tighter as soon as his hands started to tremble again. He could already feel his bottom lip starting to wobble again, but… for the sake of everything, he pushed past that and the tears that so desperately wanted to make themselves known again. He needed to be strong, and he needed to do this and make sure that everything could start getting headed in the right direction. The others, whether they knew it or not looked to him for guidance as Thomas’ moral compass, and he couldn’t let them down more than he already had. He needed to do this… he had to. No matter how much it would sting what little pride he had left, it.. it needed to be done. 

“Logan,” Patton’s voice remained surprisingly steady as he set his cup down trying to remain as serious as possible, he had to fix things, no he needed to fix things before... Before what? Things had already gotten awfully out of hand. “Logan, if and when you are able to, I would like you to summon him… so that I can talk with Deceit. Not you,” He quickly clarified as soon as he saw the slightest inkling of Logan’s eyebrow starting to rise up towards his forehead. “The.. the other Deceit, Logan.”

Almost immediately suspicion raced through Logan’s blood, making his heart hammer in his chest. “Why?” He cautiously hissed, his muscles bunching up, as his body immediately starting itching for him to get up and go, as if getting ready to run a marathon to who knows where. “Why?” 

Roman and Virgil’s gazes said something similar, although the anxious side’s expression spoke more of sheer uncertainty more than anything else. So they both hadn’t seen this coming, all things considered, so Patton was springing this up out of nowhere… or maybe he had time to think about it. Logan couldn’t exactly tell from the stiff expression on the moral side’s face alone, what he could tell though… was that Patton looked guilty.

And guilt was suspicious as hell. 

“It’s nothing bad,” The truth burst over Logan’s tongue like the sweet juice of an orange, but it only made him relax in the slightest way possible. Not bad… but to who? “I just… I want to talk to him about his place here as one of Thomas’ sides, as… as one of his dark sides. That’s all.” Patton calmly explained his hands up in that universal motion of peace and order, even though the last thing that Logan felt was peace and order with words like that coming from Patton’s mouth as he stepped closer little by little before gingerly placing his hand on Logan's knee giving it a little squeeze. “Call him whenever you like Lo, I can wait.” 


	6. Chapter 6

A terrible kind of dread made Logan’s stomach feel as if it were caving in, Patton’s words echoed around in his head like screams that had been locked down in a cavern with no way of escape. He was thankful that he wasn’t holding his mug right now, otherwise, his grip would have shattered it completely, leaving the broken shards in his hands. He felt a sour kind of foreboding at the moral side’s words, whether it was intentional or not it didn’t change how he felt in regards to it or how he was reacting to it either. His chest felt tight for a moment, like someone was stepping right on his chest knowing good and well that it made sure he couldn’t breathe right. A foreign feeling of fear raced through his veins the longer that he looked at Patton, he couldn’t look away no matter how much he honestly really wanted to. 

Within a matter of seconds, he had shifted his leg, throwing Patton’s hand off of his knee. 

“Listen,” He growled, leaning in as he seized the front of Patton’s shirt, bringing him down to eye level so that he could glare right back at those warm brown eyes. “I don’t trust you. If you try to repress, suppress, or whatever the hell you’re calling that word nowadays, Deceit-” Another snarl curled up in his throat, as his lips twisted into a dark sneer as a rush of rage thrummed through his body. Just the mere thought of Deceit being hurt, of being shoved down even deeper than he already was in Thomas’ mind made Logan’s stomach alight with a blaze of protectiveness and worry. He.. he couldn’t let anything happen to Deceit, he just couldn’t. “Then, I will ensure… that every waking and unconscious moment of your existence, is the least pleasant one that you will ever experience. Do I make myself clear Morality? If you hurt him… I will not hold back on you.” 

“Logan!” Roman admonished him quickly as he slammed his cup down, hastily rising in order to get Patton out of Logan’s deadly grip. “That’s enou-”

“Okay.” 

“Patton!” Roman snapped, his fists clenched so tightly that he was sure that the nails biting his palms would draw blood any second now. His fingers itched at him to draw his sword, to protect Patton, to protect his love from whatever kind of agony that would befall him. He wanted to act, he wanted to something… anything really that would help get Patton away from Logan’s quickly acting hands. However, just taking one look at Delta, with the way that his knees had once again scrunched up and the way that he was now clutched his cup close to his chest as his eyes darted from Roman, to Patton, and then to Logan. That one look alone told him, that if he were to whip out his sword right now and charge at Logan… 

It would only do more harm than good at this point. 

With his hands raised in a peaceful gesture, Patton gingerly laid his hands over the top of Logan’s giving them a gentle and precise pat that he so dearly hoped calmed the other’s nerves. His throat had gone completely dry at the sight of those slivers of silvery-blue staring back at him, he could feel the emotions coming off of Logan in waves. The terror that he felt at the prospect of even trusting Deceit into his hands, the worry, the wariness, the distrust, and just the slightest inkling… the smallest sliver of hope buried like a shard underneath a burned down and ruined house. All emotions that Logan was feeling right now, all aimed at him, and the problem was… Patton couldn’t deny him those feelings. They… he had done things in the past that made those feelings warranted, it made Logan’s intense distrust of him even more valid. As much as he would have liked to deny that he had anything behind this… he couldn’t lie to himself any more about it. They weren’t a perfect family, and that was mostly his fault for separating them all in the first place. Thomas had been scared, and he had acted. Which… wasn’t exactly one of his finer moments. 

He couldn’t just do things, and just point fingers at the darker traits of Thomas. Not anymore. 

“If I hurt him, do whatever you feel is necessarily Logan.” He told the other side sending Roman one precise look that told him not to move a single muscle towards them, the first step to regaining trust was not to lie in the first place, and well… he’d already messed that up. “You care for Dee a lot don’t you?” He asked, before gingerly tucking a lock of hair out of Logan’s face. “I would be up in arms if anyone hurt Virge or Ro-Ro, so whatever you decide to do if I hurt Dee… is completely acceptable. It’s..” Patton’s thickly swallowed at the sheer look of confusion on Logan’s face as his grip slackened to the point where he could easily get out of it. “It’s okay Lo.” 

It wouldn’t be okay for a long time to come, but… baby steps. 

“I…” Logan swallowed thickly as he jerked his hands back from Patton’s shirt as if he’d just been electrocuted, the look on his face was unreadable and Patton’s heart broke for that look. “I’ll ask him, if he says no though…” Logan trailed off, but even so, Patton nodded easily enough. If Deceit said no, if he trusted him less than however much Logan trusted the moral side, then… Patton really wouldn’t be all that surprised really. But he could at least hope, that maybe.. just maybe…

Nevertheless, Logan offered them all one last look, even going so far as to throw a single grimacing smile over to Delta before he sunk out. Leaving all of them in complete and utter silence before…

“So…” Roman awkwardly mumbled to himself as he rubbed the back of his head before looking over to Delta who.. if possible looked even more uncomfortable after Logan had left. “Do you like board games?” 

  
  


Rising up in his bedroom, Logan could feel the onslaught of exhaustion abruptly slam into him with only just a moments notice the very second that he stepped foot inside. His entire body sagged, and for a brief second, he contemplated just falling down and sleeping on the floor to get a quick nap before he talked to Deceit about what Patton wanted from him. Because despite what he had said and done, confronting people who he barely held an inkling of trust for now, and knowing that one of them had lied to his face… it was exhausting, he was legitimately tired in ways and places that he had never been tired before. Everything all the way down to his bones felt sore now that he was no longer keeping up appearances in front of the others, even his eyes… god, he could feel his eyes against his eye sockets. 

His bed looked awful inviting right then and there…

However, that one thought was soon dashed as soon as the warm body collided with him, knocking back against the wall as the many arms twisted and wrapped around him in a delightfully warm and tender hug. 

“You’re back,” Deceit’s voice was full of something close to reverence and sheer relief at the sight of Logan, one of his hands brushed against the curve of Logan’s cheek. A prickling of warmth ignited in the dishonest side’s stomach at how easily Logan leaned into his touch, his eyes fluttering shut at the sheer magnitude of safety and tenderness that surrounded him all at once. “You look exhausted dearest, you should really sleep before you head back. I can hear all about it when you wake, so much must’ve happened. But it can wait.” It would have been a lie if he had said that he didn’t want to hear it right then and there, but he was not willing to risk Logan’s health and mental wellness just to put Logan through the ordeal of describing everything to him all over again. “Come on,” Without another word having to be said, he led a willing Logan towards his bed. 

It could wait. 

Within minutes, Logan’s leather jacket and ripped jeans had been swapped out for a comfortable pair of pajamas that felt just right against his scales, and after that, the feeling of the covers being pulled up to his chin left him no choice but to close his eyes and sleep. “He wants to talk to you,” He slurred the words out as his eyes struggled to stay open and his brain to stay away, “Patton, he said.. he said that he wants to meet with you and talk.” He got the words out as quickly as he could before his brain shut down and he fell asleep. “Thought.. thought you ought to know…” 

Logan’s eyes slipped shut easily as a pleased groan left his lips at the fingers that buried themselves into his hair massaging his scalp.

“What do you think I should do then?” Deceit easily asked, momentarily making Logan’s eyes blink open in surprise. “You were there, and you talked with him. Should I go?” 

The mere fact that Deceit had even asked him, that he was asking him what he thought and that he valued Logan’s actual input on this was enough to make Logan’s exhaustion addled brain falter for a second… or maybe it was a minute. He had told himself that he wouldn’t cry after the change he had gone through, that he would stop crying over the things that the others had said and done to make him feel the ways that he felt. But this.. this right here was enough to make him start blinking away tears, it was almost pathetic. He had managed to act so tough and unfazed in front of the others, and yet at the slightest thing that Deceit had to say, he was practically a puddle of mush in his many arms. 

“I…” Logan shifted in the bed throwing one his arms over the side of the bed, in turn tangling his fingers into one of Deceit’s hand as he held it tight. “I told him that if he hurt you, then I would make his existence pain. He said it would be nothing bad, but bad means different things to different people. What’s bad to us, might not be bad to Remus for instance. So if you talk with him…” Logan pursed his lips as he rubbed the side of his head against his pillow in order to stay awake for just a little while longer. “Just be careful.” He mumbled, feeling those fingers once again sink back into his hair as they worked their magic, making him relax more and more until it was pretty much impossible for him to even think about keeping his eyes open at this point. 

“You need sleep my dear,” Deceit murmured, as he stood leaning over the bed in order to press a single soft kiss against Logan’s temple. “So sleep.” He whispered, watching as Logan’s breathing finally evened out, and his eyelids finally stayed shut this time. 

He was finally asleep. 

He should have known that it would be too soon for Logan to go and talk to them, it was a miracle that he had lasted as long as he did without passing out in the light commons and being completely at their mercy. It had taken him years of knowing precisely when to get out of there to know when his body could and couldn’t take being there for much longer, the split between the so-called “good” and “bad” wasn’t exactly forgiving of the dark trying to come into the light. Remus had slept a full week away after appearing to Thomas and just being in that one video alone, but sleep was the easy part, it’s what came after that was always so difficult for all of them. 

Nevertheless, Deceit fitted himself with his caplet and hat, slipping on his yellow boots as he fastened every clasp before slipping on his gloves as well. Standing before the door he offered the sleeping side one last longing look, a part of him wanted nothing more than to just curl up and sleep alongside him. To forget everything about talking with someone who had decided early on he was just evil and that was it, he wanted to curl around Logan and just relax. But… he couldn’t, they both knew that he couldn’t, the sheer temptation of meeting Patton and hearing what he had to say would always be too much for him. 

He did so love to pop up on them. 

“I’ll see you soon dearest.” 

And just like that he was gone, leaving the empty bedroom behind as he rose up in the light commons. Already he could feel a wary kind of exhaustion hitting him as soon as he dared to step foot into their domain, now all that was left was to… make himself know. Scouring his gaze around, Deceit took in the sight of everyone who was there, those who were old and… new? His head tilted slightly at the sight of the new logic fiddling with a blue hunk of plastic as he regarded the board game before him, obviously being newly formed he had no idea about how to play the game or even the rules of said game. 

“Well well well,” He smoothly crooned, stepping out of the doorway instantly attracting attention to himself. “The new Logic in the flesh, eh?” He smirked playfully back at the innocent and most certainly curious gaze that looked back at him, a gaze that had never been told to hate what was in the dark sides of the mind… someone new. “Nice shirt kid, but… you’re missing something.” He teased before popping his hat off his head, before plopping it right on top of the curly wild locks of the new logic. The outright delighted look on the other side’s face, well… it made a genuine smile break free on his lips and something akin to happiness bubble in his stomach. 

How long had it exactly been since a new side had looked at him and hadn’t run screaming? 

“See?” He grinned, “Perfect fit.” 

“Deceit!” Patton hastily stood, the fake money that he had been holding onto falling like a wave of ashen leaves down to his feet. The dishonest side had to take a step back at the overtly relieved look that spread on the moral side’s face, because… for as long as he had existed, Patton had never… NEVER looked at him like that before. “I’m so glad that you actually came.” Patton breathed out, before motioning towards the hallway. “I… need to talk to you.” 

That he did, because honestly… Patton had a lot of explaining to do. 


	7. Chapter 7

“Now then,” Deceit smoothly drawled as soon as Patton had pushed him into the hallway so that they were neatly tucked out of sight and definitely far away from the others so that they wouldn’t be able to hear a word that was being said between the two of them. He would have commended the moral side for his excellent ability to at least think ahead this time, had it not been for the fact that his foot was impatiently tapping against the floor getting less and less patient with each second that ticked on by. “What exactly did you wish to discuss with me Morality,” And before Patton could even open his mouth to speak he quickly added, “I’ve got an asleep lover to go back to, and he doesn’t like it when he’s ignored, so… try not to doddle.” 

Deceit’s narrowed but equally sharp eyes managed to pick up the slightest flinch from Patton, as even he seemed to get at what he was saying. 

And it stung. 

Patton tried to not the silvery barb of salt and sass get under his skin, especially the fact that the one word that Deceit had used to describe Logan was… lover. He tried to not let it affect him whatsoever, but it did, as it sunk beneath his skin like a hot wave of red tugging at the edge of his vision until he held his breath counting back from twenty until he didn’t feel that overpowering sensation of protectiveness anymore. Logan had made it quite clear, he had squandered his title as his friend, and he most certainly wasn’t family. So.. so he had no right to sit Deceit down and tell him that if he hurt Logan, that Patton would come for his bones.

He’d already hurt Logan more than Deceit ever could. 

So clearing his throat he forced those petulant emotions down and down, “It’s about Logan-”

And before he could even get another word out, Deceit had tensed. His shoulders had gone stiff as his fists clenched as if he were preparing himself for a fight, he didn’t even know who Deceit was preparing to fight. But the dark venomous look in his eyes that screamed the dangers of anything happen to Logan, alone told Patton so much more than words ever would, if it came down to it… the dishonest side would fight first and ask questions later if it ever came down to Logan being in trouble. 

The thought almost made him warm. 

“No no no,” He quickly said, holding his hand out almost touching Deceit’s shoulder, but not quite getting there. “I.. He…” The words bunched themselves up on Patton’s tongue like a tube of toothpaste that was just… stuck, he knew what he wanted to say and he knew what he needed to say. It was just that nothing was ever easy for him when it came to confronting his own faults, he really was just… bad at it, in every way imaginable. “He made something very clear to me when he did what he did,” The words began slow, “And even more so when he showed up with his new look and when he.. when he told us how he felt hurt by all of us. But.. but mostly me.” Reaching forward again, Patton finally laid his hand against Deceit’s shoulder, his heart twisting painfully as the dishonest side tensed up the moment that he touched him. “I.. I don’t know how not to be too strict anymore, but I do know… the separation between your sides and my sides never should have happened.” 

Deceit owlishly blinked in pure shock, his mouth hanging open just slightly enough that Patton could see a little fang poking out over his bottom lip. 

“I want to put things back, like how they were before. No separation, no light sides, no dark sides, just… Thomas’ sides. All of us together.”

If Deceit was being honest, he hadn’t expected much to come from his little chat with Patton. Maybe to be grilled for the fact that he had turned their dearest logical side into a dark side, much less another deceit when they were already being forced to deal with one of them already. He had thought that maybe just maybe… he’d let out a few barbed insults, for what they had pushed Logan to do and Patton would punch him in the face. Or that perhaps Patton would try repressing his presence again, forcing and ordering Thomas to be a more honest person no matter what the cost was to his personal mental health. Or maybe… he hadn’t known what he had expected from the likes of their moral side, but whatever he had expected…

It most certainly wasn’t this. 

“R..really?” He breathed the words out, unable to stop himself from stumbling over that one word. “No lies.. and no secrets?” Deceit could feel himself shaking as he scrutinized every little movement that Patton made, as that would give away whatever secret evil plan he had concocted in order to lower the dishonest side’s guard down before striking him down too. “You actually mean that?” He hated how utterly desperate he sounded, but… ever since the separation had happened, he had felt the sheer unfairness of it. All he had ever wanted to do was help Thomas, to make sure that he wouldn’t be hurt, and.. and even if they only listened to him once… it would at least be better than this. He didn’t want Thomas to lie all of the time, and yet the fact that it was Deceit that is what he was known for and not anything else…

Well, it had condemned him.

Each uncertain word that fell from Deceit’s lips felt like the stab of a knife deep into his chest, he looked so.. so scared, like any second now Patton would retract what he had just said and burn any semblance of Deceit’s hopes down to the ground in a wave of ash and tears. It wasn’t even a matter of trust between them like it was with Logan, he’d already burned Deceit once by separating them all, and then again by continuously telling Thomas that lying… period, was wrong. It was no wonder that he couldn’t be sure about trusting him, Patton wouldn’t even trust himself had their roles been reversed. Nevertheless, still gripping Deceit’s shoulder firmly he looked the dishonest side right in the eyes, his expression as open and honest as it ever could be before he nodded his head in a single gesture. 

Yes, he had meant every word a-

Without even a second needing to pass, Patton’s back slammed against the hallway wall as six arms wrapped around him, honestly… in his opinion, giving him the ultimate hug. Deceit’s face had buried itself into his shoulder as his body trembled and wetness seeped into his shoulder, really.. he guessed that he didn’t really take into account just how emotional something like this would be for Deceit. Someone who had never been given hope of rejoining them, merely stuck to the life of an outcast and a villain due to someone else’s actions with no choice but to act the role to get noticed. And without even knowing what he needed to do, Patton raised his arms up and hugged him back gingerly rocking them both back and forth.

Deceit didn’t sniffle, he didn’t so much as let out a sob in many of the ways that one would expect from someone. The only indication that he was even crying was the tears that had soaked into the fabric of his shirt as well as the faint shivering from the other side, and nothing else. And… it tore at him, it honestly tore at him just how adept Deceit was at crying without being noticed, the guilt that he had been continuously been trying to push back only made itself more known. 

How many times had Deceit done this? Cried with no one being the wiser because he had learned to shut himself up?

“It’s okay,” Patton’s voice cracked as he ran his hand up and down Deceit’s back calming those violent tremors until he was barely even shivering. “I was wrong Dee, I was so very wrong to keep us all separated, its not your fault. It never has been and never will be your fault, everything is going to change for the better from now on. I will never ever separate us ever again. I can promise you that.” 

Eventually, Deceit pulled away, his six arms changing to two as he tried to subtly wipe away the tears that were streaming down his face. And Patton let him, he let him put himself back together, as he straightened his caplet and pushed his bowler had even more firmly onto his head so that his fringe would cover up his red puffy eyes and the evidence that he had been crying in the first place. Let alone in the arms of someone like Patton, and despite all of this, the moral side in question didn’t say a single word against it. He had been there more times than he would have liked to count, days where he was having to hastily wipe away tears so that nobody would suspect him of breaking down when they needed him to be the cheerful one. Unless Deceit wanted it, he wasn’t going to tell anyone shit about the tears that had just happened between them. 

They’d have to pry this secret out of his cold dead hands. 

“So,” Deceit awkwardly cleared his throat, as he looked everywhere but at Patton as an embarrassed flush spread over the human side of his face. “How is this going to happen?” 

The tiniest of smiles wormed their way onto Patton’s lips, “Well,” He began, leaning gingerly back against the wall. “I’m going to try and combine my side of Thomas’ mind, and your side. I know that if I just moved your guys’ rooms here, then it would be draining for you, Virge had an awfully hard time adjusting when he moved here. So.. the best of both worlds right?” Patton cheekily said as he somehow resisted the urge to lean forward and poke Deceit, right now was serious adult time and he needed to act like it… a little at least. “You won’t get exhausted just being here, and it won’t hurt us if we ever just need to talk to you. Equal exchange.” 

It would have been cruel to just ask them to move into their side of the mind space, whilst abandoning the home that they had lived in for years. It would be asking them to move, and not giving anything in return. He… he needed to be better if he wanted all of this to work out, and for that to be the case he needed to give a lot more than he was currently giving. 

That much was glaringly obvious. 

“Nice to know that Virgil gave away all of our secrets,” Deceit mumbled without any real heat behind his words as he scratched the back of his neck, even he couldn’t help the slight pout on his face at the anxious side having revealed one of their major weaknesses as dark sides. “Then I guess I’ll going to check up on Logan again, and let you go your work then.” He mumbled, moving to sink out and head right back to Logan’s room, just to stop himself before he could as he caught Patton’s arm before he could so much as walk away. “One more thing,” The dishonest side added, “Tell the new Logic that he can keep the hat, and…” With a terrifying smile in place that showed one too many teeth, “And try not to hurt him, if you do… Logan and I just might adopt him right under your collective noses.” 

And just like that he was gone, leaving Patton completely and utterly alone in the hallway so that he could begin his work. 

“Oh boy…” Patton sighed with a half affectionate smile as he ran his fingers through his messy hair. “Time to get to work.”

* * *

Rising back up in Logan’s room, Deceit felt the exhaustion of lingering too long in the light’s space hit him like a punch to the gut, that along with every emotion he had spilled out onto Patton’s shoulder. The bone weariness crept up on him next, as he neatly unclasped his caplet letting it hang on the chair he had been sitting in when he had been waiting for Logan to return, and his gloves and shoes soon followed. Creeping over to the other side of the bed, Deceit summoned his sleepwear before he submerged himself in the igloo of warmth that was Logan’s covers. Nestling himself against Logan’s back, he felt all of the worries and fears he had carried with him up until then fall away, leaving him so much more tired than he ever could have imagined such a stress would leave him feeling. 

He had gotten so used to that stress, to having it pressing on his shoulders to the point that now… he felt oddly light without it. 

“Dee? Wha happened?” 

If it was possible, Deceit’s expression softened anymore at the tired sluggish voice of his lover starting awake the moment that Deceit’s much colder body came into contact with him. Leaning in, he pressed a gentle kiss against the scales that looped around the back of Logan’s neck, he felt completely and utterly boneless as he laid there in the comfort and safety of another’s bedroom while soaking up the warmth of another body. Logan, in turn, mumbled happily at the lazy kiss, squirming a little until he managed to turn over, his arms languidly curling around the other side drawing him in until he was close enough to tuck his face against Logan’s collarbone. A warm and lazy hum filled the arm, as Logan too pressed a tired kiss against Deceit’s messy hat hair. 

“Go back to bed dearest,” The dishonest side in question mumbled into Logan’s scaled skin, “When we wake, I will tell you everything. Everything is going to be just fine.” 

And for the first time since the separation… he meant it. 

  
  
  



End file.
